“You must try harder.”
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There is probably no less empathetic and more counterproductive phrase than that. However, it is very common to see people using it to “motivate” others.
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Believing that someone does not achieve what they want or need simply because of a lack of effort is terribly superficial, especially if they are going through some kind of emotional process that disturbs the proper functioning of their brain.
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If you want to help someone, if you are going through a similar process, or if you are trying to combat or change your negative dialogue, I want you to keep in mind that if you do more or try harder, it may not be the solution. Often the only thing that is achieved with this is to generate more stress and anxiety.
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When our attention is focused on a problem, we usually get stuck in a loop of thinking that prevents us from seeing other possibilities.
👇 Reminder of the day 👇
- If something is not working, trying harder is probably not the solution. Maybe you have to try something new.
What else can you do when you feel like you’ve tried everything? When you know that you have done your best, that you have done everything you could, trying harder only generates resistance and magnifies the problem…
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However, if you try something new, if you try something different, you may eventually find a solution to the challenge you face.
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Change your approach and your way of dealing with the situation, and allow yourself to explore new possibilities.
